The first time I listened to this song, we were staying at my in-laws’ for Christmas. I had just woken up, and, of course, my feeds were full of praise and tears and every manner of crash out imaginable about Han Jisung. Fair. Relatable. I listened to it half asleep, and then immediately sent it to my best friend, who is both a lover of space and a Han bias. (Match made in heaven, truly.) I read all of the theories about who it could be about. I cooed over Han’s Bubble messages that he was worried that it was going to be good, that he’d written it in two hours, and that, as always, he was thinking of STAY (what a flirt).
And then I didn’t listen to it again for two months. It’s not that I didn’t like it. I loved it. But it’s not on Spotify to add to my ever-growing SKZ playlist. And, as always, more content came up, the hype died down, and I didn’t seek it out again. When I decided to start posting these little rambles about SKZ music, I was reminded of it. And my goodness am I glad that I did this. It’s so worth it to really read the English translations and make notes and connections.
I loved the song before. I really love it now.
Now, quick side note before I start: This is the first HANPOP song I’ve done this with. I know of his other songs. I’ve listened to them, but I’m a newer STAY, so I don’t know all of the lore and the connections there yet. This is an analysis based on the lyrics themselves, the story they tell, and the little bits I know about Han’s character and writing style.
And the normal disclaimers: I’m a pretty new STAY, and I don’t speak Korean. I am using my limited SKZ knowledge and the English translations from Genius. These are my own thoughts based on those translations and not meant to be a definitive interpretation.
That said, let’s look at the lyrics. And here is the audio to listen to as you read.
I’m gonna get real personal for a second. Earlier I said that as soon as I listened to this song, I sent it to my best friend. And again, all I could think about while going through these lyrics and listening to the song over and over was her. We live in different countries, an at least two day drive or four hour flight between us, and have for the last four and a half years. In those four and half years, I’ve seen her in person for maybe sixteen days total. Long distance friendships suck. A lot.
Now, I know that this song is pretty obviously about a romantic relationship, but I think so much of it (and so much about the ways we walk about romantic partners in general) can and does apply to platonic relationships as well.
So much of this song feels like something I would send to her. I know that she’ll eventually read this, and as nervous as that makes me, I’ve never been able to make such a public declaration of how much she means to me. And Han has written the words so beautifully for me. I could probably relate every single line to her somehow, but here are just a few:
Of all the thoughts running through my mind, the first / Was how happy I would be with you by my side: Like I said, the first thought after hearing this song? She has to hear it. She has to know that Han wrote a song about the stars. Because she loves stars. And she loves Han.
You’re the reason behind my biggest feelings: I’ve always been someone who has felt deeply (Hyunjin is my bias for a reason), and with her it’s no different. Happy. Sad. Slightly unhinged. She’s been there for it all and often is the catalyst.
I hope someday we can plan forever together and spend it side by side: We talk about living together/near each other alllll the time. Even a two hour drive is preferable to the current situation.
With regret that we couldn’t share this unexpected gift / I send you this song, please accept my heart: So many times I’ve wished to be with her to be sharing an event or memory or life moment, and all I can really do is message her pictures or video call her to get all the details.
Feels like I crossed light-years just to get to you: I have often pondered the divine intervention that had to have happened for us to meet each other six years ago.
I quickly grab the camera but all that was caught was nothing but fog (Oh, oh) / And a dark, imperfect shot, but maybe would you still know how I feel? (My babe): I have in fact pulled over on the side of the road and tried to get a picture of the stars to send to her and only gotten a black screen, because phone cameras can only do so much. And more metaphorically, I know I don’t always express myself perfectly or show her how much she actually means to me. But I hope she still knows how I feel.
Anyway, back to song itself. *ahem*
Han has talked so many times about loving lyrical songs. From the survival show on, he has not been shy about his love for love – dramas, movies, love songs, etc. And he pulls from the media he watches and his own experiences to write his songs. I think that really shines here.
So many of these lines feel like they’re right out of a romance movie. And also, he said he was writing about STAY. Whether that was cheeky or not, he’s also not shy about his love for STAY (none of them are). How many times have they likened us to stars, to diamonds. How many times have they said they want to share moments with us. Sure, some of that is fanservice, but I truly think most of it genuine.
The line “You’re the reason behind my biggest feelings” specifically stood out for this reason. And I couldn’t stop thinking about the times Han has gotten emotional (tears or laughing or just so much feeling he can’t stop himself from vibrating) on stage or at fanmeets or fansigns or fancalls. Again, could this be his idol persona or fanservice? Sure. But I choose to believe it’s real, genuine love for the fandom that loves them and their music.
He also has this way of stating things so plainly – I get shy, I blush. Such normal things that happen when you’re in love. And then three lines later, he says things like “crossing light-years to get to you” that are so romantic and whimsical and beautiful. It speaks to things like fate and destiny that contradict so beautifully with these very real, everyday occurrences.
It shows in the music, too. The base line is this sort of flowy guitar riff with other beats and sounds layered over it. It’s almost a ballad but upbeat enough to be poppy. It really does a great job of bringing this story to life. A simple experience of watching a meteor shower turned into this sonnet about love and fate, filled with yearning and just enough humor.
As Han said in the recent Talker: “Just Han Jisung. A song that HAN would do.”
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